Jan Jelinek:
Social Engineering

Jan Jelinek: Social Engineering (excerpt), 2023

Jan Jelinek:
Social Engineering

Produced for German SWR2. First broadcast: 25.2.2023. Length: 33:00. Concept, composition and realisation: Jan Jelinek. Stream/DL (until August 2024): hereNomination for Prix Italia 2023 (longlist) and Phonurgia Nova Award 2023 (shortlist).  

A huge volume of text accumulates on a daily basis in the spam folder of the mail programme. Unnoticed and unread, filtered emails are automatically deleted after a few days - only to end up in the spam folder again in a similar version less than 24 hours later. An eternal cycle of unwanted text production.
Occasionally, it is worth taking a look at the digital litter, because unintentional comedy is hidden behind many a phishing attempt: be it through an idiosyncratic and virtuoso use of language, through the astonishingly open criminal energy or through the richness of variation of the same message ( > Give me your data).
Social Engineering collects twelve text fragments of so-called phishing emails. They are spoken, sung and/or transformed into abstract textures by means of voice synthesis. The result is a 33-minute voice and sound collage dedicated to the hysteria of phishing.



Manuscript


1.    The narrative of the heritage

chorus:
More God blessings and happiness towards you and your family, amen
Please I need your help and assistance.
Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you.

female voice:
More God blessings and happiness towards you and your family, amen.
Please I need your help and assistance.
Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you.
My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan, the economic capital of Ivory Coast.
He was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outings on a business trip.
Before the death of my father in a private hospital here in Abidjan
he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of twenty-five million United State Dollars deposited in one of the largest security company here in Abidjan and that he used my name as his only daughter for the next of kin in depositing of the fund.
He also explained that I should seek for a good foreign partner who will assist me for investment purpose.
And that the money is in six trunk boxes there in the security company now.

chorus:
Permit me to inform you of my desire

Permit me to inform you of my desire

Permit me to inform you of my desire


(…)


2.    A mystery that wants to be disclosed 
 

male voice:
He was your countryman and had something in common with you …

He was your countryman and had something in common with you …

He was your countryman and had something in common with you …

(…)
Please find necessary details about him and why I have decided to contact you in the PDF-document which I have attached to this email for your quick attention.


3.    ALERT!

male voice:
ERROR NUMBER 268D3!
CRITICAL ALERT FROM MICROSOFT!
YOUR COMPUTER HAS ALERTED US, THAT IT IS INFECTED WITH VIRUS- AND SPYWARE! THIS VIRUS IS SENDING YOUR CREDIT CARD DETAILS, FACEBOOK LOGIN AND PERSONAL EMAILS TO HACKERS REMOTELY!
PLEASE CALL US IMMEDIATELY AT THE TOLL-FREE NUMBER LISTED, SO THAT OUR SUPPORT ENGINEERS CAN WALK YOU THROUGH THE REMOVAL PROCESS OVER THE PHONE!
IF YOU CLOSE THIS PAGE BEFORE CALLING US, WE WILL BE FORCED TO DISABLE YOUR COMPUTER TO PREVENT FURTHER DAMAGE TO OUR NETWORK!


4.    The one-off opportunity


Field Recording: shell player operator, Genève 2010
 
female voice:
It is online for a few more hours

Maybe it will also still be online tomorrow

I doubt that though

Resistance becomes too great – and competitors fight with all means

I myself have already started and even earn significantly more with it

You also wanted to know about the 1247 EURO secret!

This video will open your eyes and finally show you the way to financial freedom.

That is why the following video is only online today

chorus:
You also wanted to know about the 1247 EURO secret!


5.    Medical frivolities


male voice:
SELL YOUR ONE KIDNEY!
Looking for kidney donor anywhere in world.

So if you want to sell your kidney and be rich or to save someone’s life please kindly contact us:

Whatsapp number +91-953-250-2559, Dr. Richard
And if you are a Christian: Happy Eastern Monday!


6.    A vague allegation & the concrete blackmail


chorus:
Let us think of …

Let us think of …

Let us think of …

(…)

Let us think of it as a donation!


female voice:
Let’s get straight to purpose:

Not a single person has compensated me to investigate about you.

You don't know me and you are probably thinking why you're getting this email? 
I actually placed a software on the x-rated videos website - and you know what?

You visited this site to experience fun - you know what I mean!

While you were watching videos, your internet browser began functioning as a remote key logger which gave me access to your display screen.
Just after that, my software program gathered every one of your contacts from your Messenger, Facebook, as well as e-mail account.
Next I created a double video.
First part shows the video you were watching and second part displays the view of your web camera - and it’s you!

You’ve got two alternatives:

Very first alternative is to disregard this message.

As a consequence, I most certainly will send out your very own tape to just about all of your contacts and thus think about regarding the shame you will definitely get.

2nd option will be to give me $3000.

In this situation, I will promptly discard your video recording.
You will go on your way of life like this never happened and you would never hear back again from me.

chorus:
Let us think of …

Let us think of …

Let us think of …

(…)

Let us think of it as a donation!


7.    Incoherent translation algorithms


the ranch restrictions 6 retro sit spokesman. sr stated validation. 
the dismantling abdominal aggressions 63 sequence acetate. property decompression wire. 
the conquer solidity static validity gigolo. 2 cave dungeon song. 
pitch mushroom cut 14 triplet sulleness. zelluloid advisor applying. 
the chad circular conditions 57 corp fifth. season globe italy. 
the messages olympic robert (sweet) trouble. Switch off amphitheater 42 upwind. 
the popularity buddha slacken five mockery. holder condensation minima. 
the quarter 34 seminarist trophy centralise add. boring continuing fire. 
the 3$ medicine closet healthcare housewives kinase. migration pk sg. 
the tutorial verified (and rinse off) 14 appetence term. Dullness cock trapped.


8.    Sad self-optimization


chorus:
Find out more …

Find out more …

Find out more …

(…)

Find out more about this awesome product now!


male voice:
Did you know obesity kills more and more people every year.

We know you hate the extra pounds.

The ugly look and the social stigma attached to fat people.

Moreover you can barely do anything about the terrible eating habits of yours.

Find out more about this awesome product now!

female voice:
This is wonderful!

Instead of watching TV stuffing myself with food I became more interested in exercise.

ANATRIM got me on the right track.

I’m more fit now.

And there are a lot of men around me

And my husband says I’m a different person now …

A better person.

chorus:
Find out more …

Find out more …

Find out more …

(…)


male voice:
Find out more about this awesome product now!


9.    This is not a joke! (1)


male voice:
Dear email beneficiary,

you have a donation of 3,500,000.00 EUROS from Scott Godfrey who won $699.8 million Powerball Lottery in October.
Contact this email: s.g0392440821@gmail for more information on how to receive your donation, thank you!
This is not a joke/hoax.
See confirmation @ https://www.lottery24.com/news/6998-million-powerball-winner-already-helping-others


10.    Business


male voice:
ZERO RISK BUSINESS
choir:
Uh Oh – making money!

Uh Oh – making money!

Uh Oh – making money!

(…)


male voice:
We are a financial institution that buys money from you
and sells it to public and private partners, natural or legal persons who are sincere and honest and who are in need.

To this end, you have the possibility of depositing from 500 to 235,000 EUROS
 which entitles you to 100% per week in terms of interest.

Undisturbed, you can safely put your money to work and grow your wealth.

male voice:
(german)
We are a financial institution that buys money from you
and sells it to public and private partners, natural or legal persons who are sincere and honest and who are in need.

To this end, you have the possibility of depositing from 500 to 235,000 EUROS
 which entitles you to 100% per week in terms of interest.

Undisturbed, you can safely put your money to work and grow your wealth.

chorus:
Uh Oh – making money!

Uh Oh – making money!

Uh Oh – making money!

(…)


11.    This is not a joke! (2)


male voice:
Dear Sir Madam,
Late Sister Dorothy Stang bequeathed a large sum to you in the codicil of her last will/testament.

See confirmation at Wikipedia.org/latesisterdorothystang


12.    The polite threat


male voice:
If you kindly pay 499,- EURO in Bitcoin to the following address, we will refrain from ruining your company and you personally.

If you refuse to pay, we will do the following, starting Tuesday, 15 January 2019, 12 noon:

Send out emails in your name and the name of your company to all your clients, with very extreme content.

A family friendly version of what we mean by this is attached.

We will send appropriate emails on your behalf to all contacts we could identify, possible future industry contacts, local and regional individuals and institutions, as well as people with the same or similar surnames, so hopefully we'll catch people in your family circle.

Every day. A thousand emails.

With texts that are anti-Semitic, extreme right/left, xenophobic in content. Or are quite simply despicable.

This all takes place automatically.

All we need to do is flip a switch.

Think about what it would cost you to repair the PR damage, if that should be possible at all. And how long this would take - especially if 1000 emails are sent daily for the next 12 months.

And I'm sure you understand that we have to make an example of you, so that the next customer won't even think of non-payment.

I hope for your salvation that you make the right decision!
 

deutsch:
 

Das Radiostück Social Engineering wurde für den Südwestrundfunk produziert und hat eine Spieldauer von 33 Minuten. Erstsendung: 25.2.2023. Konzept, Komposition und Realisation: Jan Jelinek. Stream/DL (bis August 2024): hier Gefördert durch das Stipendienprogramm 2022 (Stip-II) des Musikfonds e.V. im Rahmen des Programms "Neustart Kultur" der Beauftragten der Bundesregierung für Kultur und Medien. Prix Italia 2023 Longlist-Nominierung und Phonurgia Nova Award 2023 Shortlist-Nominierung.

Täglich sammelt sich ein gewaltiges Textkonvolut im Spam-Ordner des Mail-Programms. Unbeachtet und ungelesen werden gefilterte Emails nach wenigen Tagen automatisch gelöscht - um in einer ähnlichen Version keine 24 Stunden später wieder im Spam-Ordner zu landen. Ein ewiger Kreislauf unerwünschter Textproduktion.
Gelegentlich lohnt ein Blick auf die digitale Wurfpost, denn unfreiwillige Komik versteckt sich hinter manch einem Phishing-Versuch: Sei es durch einen eigenwillig-virtuosen Umgang mit Sprache, durch die verblüffend offene kriminelle Energie oder durch Variationsreichtum der immer gleichen Botschaft ( > Gib mir Deine Daten). 
Social Engineering versammelt zwölf Textfragmente sogenannter Phishing-Emails. Sie werden mittels Sprachsynthese gesprochen, gesungen und/oder in abstrakte Texturen verwandelt. Das Resultat ist eine 33-minütige Sprach- und Soundcollage, die sich der Hysterie des Phishings widmet.


Manuskript


1. Die Erzählung vom Erbe


Chor:

More God blessings and happiness towards you and your family, amen
Please I need your help and assistance.
Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you.

More God blessings and happiness towards you and your family, amen.
Please I need your help and assistance.
Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you.
My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan,
the economic capital of Ivory Coast.
He was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outings on a business trip.
Before the death of my father in a private hospital here in Abidjan
he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of twenty-five million United State Dollars deposited in one of the largest security company here in Abidjan
and that he used my name as his only daughter for the next of kin in depositing of the fund.
He also explained that I should seek for a good foreign partner who will assist me for investment purpose.
And that the money is in six 6 trunk boxes there in the security company now.

Chor:

Permit me to inform you of my desire
Permit me to inform you of my desire
Permit me to inform you of my desire

(…)


2. Ein Rätsel, das gelüftet werden will


He was your countryman and had something in common with you …
He was your countryman and had something in common with you … 
He was your countryman and had something in common with you …
(…)

Please find necessary details about him and why I have decided to contact you in the PDF-document which I have attached to this email for your quick attention.


3. ALARM!


ERROR NUMBER 268D3!
CRITICAL ALERT FROM MICROSOFT!
YOUR COMPUTER HAS ALERTED US, THAT IT IS INFECTED WITH VIRUS- AND SPYWARE!
THIS VIRUS IS SENDING YOUR CREDIT CARD DETAILS, FACEBOOK LOGIN AND PERSONAL EMAILS TO HACKERS REMOTELY!
PLEASE CALL US IMMEDIATELY AT THE TOLL-FREE NUMBER LISTED, SO THAT OUR SUPPORT ENGINEERS CAN WALK YOU THROUGH THE REMOVAL PROCESS OVER THE PHONE!
IF YOU CLOSE THIS PAGE BEFORE CALLING US, WE WILL BE FORCED TO DISABLE YOUR COMPUTER TO PREVENT FURTHER DAMAGE TO OUR NETWORK!


4. Die einmalige Gelegenheit


Field Recording: Straßen-Hütchenspieler, Genf 

Es ist noch wenige Stunden online
Vielleicht ist es auch morgen noch online
Das bezweifele ich allerdings
Der Widerstand wird zu groß - und die Konkurrenz kämpft mit allen Mitteln
Ich selber habe schon angefangen und verdiene deutlich mehr damit

Du wolltest doch auch das 1247 EURO Geheimnis entdecken
Dieses Video wird Dir die Augen öffnen und endlich den Weg in die finanzielle Freiheit aufzeigen
Deshalb ist das folgende Video nur noch heute online


Chor: 

Du wolltest doch auch das 1247 EURO Geheimnis entdecken


5. Medizinische Frivolitäten


SELL YOUR ONE KIDNEY!


Looking for kidney donor anywhere in world.
So if you want to sell your kidney and be rich or to save someone’s life please kindly contact us:
Whatsapp number +91-953-250-2559, Dr. Richard

And if you are a Christian: Happy Eastern Monday!


6. Vage Anschuldigung & die konkrete Erpressung


Chor: 

Let us think of …
Let us think of …
Let us think of …

(…)
Let us think of it as a donation!


Let’s get straight to purpose:
Not a single person has compensated me to investigate about you.
You don't know me and you are probably thinking why you're getting this email? 

I actually placed a software on the x-rated videos website - and you know what?
You visited this site to experience fun - you know what I mean!
While you were watching videos, your internet browser began functioning as a remote key logger which gave me access to your display screen.
Just after that, my software program gathered every one of your contacts from your Messenger, Facebook, as well as e-mail account.

Next I created a double video. First part shows the video you were watching and second part displays the view of your web camera - and it’s you!
You’ve got two alternatives:
Very first alternative is to disregard this message.
As a consequence, I most certainly will send out your very own tape to just about all of your contacts and thus think about regarding the shame you will definitely get.
2nd option will be to give me $3000.
In this situation, I will promptly discard your video recording.
You will go on your way of life like this never happened and you would never hear back again from me.


Chor: 

Let us think of …
Let us think of …
Let us think of …

(…)
Let us think of it as a donation!


7. Wirre Übersetzungsalgorithmen



Das ranch restrictions 6 retro sit spokesman. sr stated validation. 
Die abbau abdominal aggressions 63 aufeinanderfolge azetat. besitztum dekompression draht. 
Der erobern festigkeit static geltungs gigolo. 2 höhlen kerker lied. 
pech pilz schneid 14 triole verdrossenheit. zelluloid advisor applying. 
Der chad circular conditions 57 corp fifth. season globe italy. 
Die messages olympic robert (sweet) trouble. abschalt amphitheater 42 aufwind. 
Das beliebtheit buddha erlahmen fünfer gespött. halter kondensat minima. 
Die quartier 34 seminarist trophäe zentralisieren add. boring continuing fire. 
Der 3$ medicine closet healthcare housewives kinase. migration pk sg. 
Das tutorial verified (und abspül) 14 appetenz begriffs. dumpfheit gefangene hahn.





8. Traurige Selbstoptimierung



Chor:



Find out more …

Find out more …

Find out more …


(…)

Find out more about this awesome product now!



Did you know obesity kills more and more people every year.
We know you hate the extra pounds.
The ugly look and the social stigma attached to fat people.
Moreover you can barely do anything about the terrible eating habits of yours.
Find out more about this awesome product now!

Frauenstimme:



This is wonderful!

Instead of watching TV stuffing myself with food I became more interested in exercise.

ANATRIM got me on the right track.

I’m more fit now.
And there are a lot of men around me

And my husband says I’m a different person now …

A better person.




Chor:



Find out more …

Find out more …

Find out more …

(…)

Find out more about this awesome product now!





9. This is not a joke! (1)



Dear email beneficiary,

you have a donation of 3,500,000.00 EUROS from Scott Godfrey who won $699.8 million Powerball Lottery in October. Contact this email: s.g0392440821@gmail for more information on how to receive your donation, thank you!



This is not a joke/hoax.

See confirmation @ https://www.lottery24.com/news/6998-million-powerball-winner-already-helping-others





10. Business

Chor:

Zero Risk Business

Uh Oh – making money!

Uh Oh – making money!

Uh Oh – making money!


(…)

We are a financial institution that buys money from you

and sells it to public and private partners, natural or legal persons who are sincere and honest and who are in need.

To this end, you have the possibility of depositing from 500 to 235,000 EUROS

which entitles you to 100% per week in terms of interest.
Undisturbed, you can safely put your money to work and grow your wealth.

-

Wir sind ein Finanzinstitut, das Geld von Ihnen kauft

und es an öffentliche und private Partner, natürliche oder juristische Personen verkauft,

die aufrichtig, ehrlich und in Not sind.

Zu diesem Zweck haben Sie die Möglichkeit, zwischen 500 und 235.000 EUR einzuzahlen,

was Sie zu 100 % pro Woche an Zinsen berechtigt.

Ungestört können Sie Ihr Geld arbeiten lassen und Ihr Vermögen vermehren.


Chor:

Uh Oh – making money!

Uh Oh – making money!

Uh Oh – making money!


(…)


11.    This is not a joke! (2)




Dear Sir Madam,

Late Sister Dorothy Stang bequeathed a large sum to you in the codicil of her last will/testament.

See confirmation at Wikipedia.org/latesisterdorothystang





12.    Die freundliche Drohung


Wenn Sie freundlicherweise 499,- EURO in Bitcoin an nachfolgende Adresse zahlen,
werden wir davon absehen, Ihre Firma und Sie persönlich zu ruinieren.

Sollten Sie eine Zahlung ablehnen, so werden wir, beginnend Dienstag, 15. Januar 2019, 12 Uhr, folgendes tun:
In Ihrem Namen und dem Namen Ihrer Firma Emails an alle Ihre Kunden versenden, die einen sehr extremen Inhalt haben.

Eine familienfreundliche Version davon was wir darunter verstehen, ist beiliegend.
Wir senden entsprechende Emails in Ihrem Namen an alle Kontakte die wir ermitteln konnten,

mögliche zukünftige branchenspezifische Kontakte, lokale und regionale Personen und Institutionen,

sowie Personen, die einen gleichen oder ähnlichen Familiennamen tragen, so dass wir hoffentlich auch Personen aus Ihrem familiären Umfeld erwischen.

Jeden Tag. Tausend Emails.
Mit Texten, die antisemitisch, extrem rechts/links, xenophoben Inhalt haben. Oder ganz einfach nur verabscheuungswürdig sind.
Dies findet alles automatisiert statt.

Für uns ist lediglich das Umlegen eine Schalters notwendig.
Denken Sie mal drüber nach, was es Sie Kosten würde, den PR-Schaden zu beheben, falls das überhaupt möglich sein sollte.
Und wie lange dies dauern würde - vor allem wenn die nächsten 12 Monate täglich 1000 Emails versendet werden.
Und Sie haben sicherlich dafür Verständnis, dass wir an Ihnen ein Exempel statuieren müssen, so dass der nächste Kunde gar nicht auf die Idee kommt, eine Nichtzahlung käme in Frage.

Ich hoffe für Ihr Seelenheil, dass sie die richtige Entscheidung treffen!